spinnakersends

The Gay Meme

2009-01-18T23:31:00.000-08:00

Much noise has been made on the topic of gays in the military, especially with the prospect of the incoming president. Indications are that BHO desires to completely end the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. While I share his desire for that endstate, I'm not sure if the force is ready for the transition. In my limited experience it seems to me that our little corner of the military, and perhaps the submarine community in general, is mostly ready. It's almost certain that at least a few gay men already serve (I can think of one in particular right now. Even if he's not gay he's one of the most flamboyant men I've ever met, and I did theatre in high school.) on my boat, and we can probably extrapolate that fleetwide. I'd say we're probably more ready for gay men than we are for women. That's not to say I don't think either are good ideas; it's just a comment on the overall state of the force. I don't know so much about any of the other services, so I'll focus on the Navy and submarines.

Guys like CJ extend the argument a bit too far in my opinion when they introduce transvestites &c. into the mix. I think you can divide the objections to people with "alternative lifestyles" serving into two categories. First is the effect on discipline. Second is the impact on the public's perception of the service. This second one is most easily overcome when it comes to the Navy. Nearly all sea commands these days are homeported in blue states (Kings Bay is technically not, but it's so close to Jacksonville that it might almost count.) and many of those are in or near major liberal strogholds (San Diego, Seattle, New York/Boston). While the Navy, like the other services, belongs to the whole country, public perception of homosexuals in those areas is certainly more neutral than in other parts of the country where you might find other major forts, camps, or air bases. As a result, the communities that would have to deal with integration would already mostly be open to it. This is a major ameliorant to the public image problem.

There is still a valid public image complaint against transvestitism. A man dressed up like a woman looks ridiculous if he doesn't make a good effort to pass as a female. If he does, well, I knew a mechanic who liked to go to Thailand every chance he got and he could tell you how effective the illusion can be. I think the problem is overplayed for the simple reason that you can't hide your physical gender from the military. It's not hard to tell what you are when you have to strip naked for a medical exam before you even start. It becomes nearly impossible to pull off a deception when your routine involves regular use of locker rooms and group showers. So if you have a cross-dresser in your outfit, he wears a male uniform. Period. If he gets off by going to a club in a wig and a dress on liberty, so what? I'm getting too far afield, so I'll wrap this part up by noting that these are extreme cases and not really valid test cases.

What about good order and discipline? I know that here in the sub force we needle each other with whatever we can find. We're professionals at it; it's what we do. When a new guy arrives we figure out what bothers him and then we poke him with it for fun. Since it happens to everyone, it's mostly good; it makes people feel like they belong. I don't know if women do this, but men definitely do. (If you take it too far it's called "hazing" and gets people fired.) What's my point? We're already a rabble. Adding a gay man into the mix just gives the guys another angle to try and poke fun at and if it fails then nobody notices the difference. If he's smart, he'll use his gayness as a weapon in similar attacks on his buddies.

One common objection stems from insecurity, I think. The reasoning is that just as we don't mix men and women in bathrooms and showers due to possible ogling or other harassment, we can't integrate gay men since they're attracted to us! Well, five minutes later I'll hear most of these people tell me that women shouldn't be offended at stares and complements, they should be flattered. Why can't straight men take the same approach? What makes you think you're even attractive to the average homosexual man anyway? If you look around the locker room after PT, you're at least as likely to be rewarded with nasty fatbodies as you are with fit guys anyway. So your gay crewmate is probably not that into you anyway.

I think back to my underway time and I remember that we're the community that plays "gay chicken" to kill time on watch. Most of us probably wouldn't care if the sailor next to us likes to be called Sally in his spare time as long as he knows where the nearest CO2 bottle is in a fire. So yes, I think the submarine force is ready for the change, even if the rest of the military might not be.

NFL Championship Post (with uninformed picks!)

2009-01-18T14:00:00.000-08:00

My football season ended three weeks ago when the Dolphins beat the Jets. Due to the rules of the league, my 11-5 Patriots went home while the 8-8 Chargers got to play the 12-4 Colts in San Diego. Nevertheless, I still haven't been able to stop watching football. My love for football started in 2002 - not when the Pats won the Super Bowl but when the Mids started winning games again. In truth, I learned most of what I know about the game by listening to canned Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit as my roommates played NCAA football on their consoles.

My revised playoff goals were finished last week. First thing was that I wanted the Colts eliminated (modern rivalry). Next, the Chargers (personal animus against Ladanian Tomlinson). Finally, the Giants (grudge from SB XLII). So here are my unbiased, uninformed picks for the championship round:

NFC: Cardinals 14, Eagles 13.
AFC: Steelers 21, Ravens 14.

Let's all hope baseball season comes soon.

Obama Supporters: My Kids are Better Than Your Kids

2009-01-17T22:51:00.000-08:00

The NY Times ran this collection of letters schoolchildren wrote to the incoming president. I wonder if Maddox has seen these? (h/t: LT Nixon)

The best thing about living in the White House would be running around like a maniac. The thing I would like least is the work.
— Holly Wong, age 9, San Francisco

Fortunately we have elected a man made of sterner stuff. He will surely not be afraid to do as much work as is necessary.

Good job on winning. I heard about Area 51. I wanted to ask you if there are any U.F.O.’s there. I think that you should tell people in public the truth about Area 51. You would just maybe say, “That we will take care of it.” And do it.
— Edwin Jara, age 9, New York

The truth about Area 51 is already public. A team of three brave special forces soldiers singlehandedly exterminated the alien menace arising there, saving the human race from certain destruction. The documentary still plays in bowling alleys, skating rinks, and laser tag arenas everywhere.

Could you help my family to get housecleaning jobs? I hope you will be a great president. If I were president, I would help all nations, even Hawaii. President Obama, I think you could help the world.
— Chad Timsing, age 9, Los Angeles

I'm not going to rip on this kid for trying to help his family get jobs that are frankly tough and thankless. These are hard times and those of us who are employed are lucky in at least some small measure. The default answer these days seems to be begging for a bailout, so I applaud his parents for trying to get any work they can to make ends meet. I just want to say two things:

1) "Even Hawaii?" What's this kid have against the Aloha State?
2) Woe be it that our public schools can't even seem to get across the difference between other states and entirely separate nations.

Thanks to the miracle of combining duties, I am back home. On

2009-01-17T17:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the miracle of combining duties, I am back home. On the way back I stopped by the hospital to see one of the guys. He's been in the ICU for the past week and is still in pretty rough shape. He's stable and awake right now, but they still don't know the full prognosis.

So, from that we have a list of non-work-related things that have bothered me recently

1) Child beauty pagents. C likes "What Not to Wear" on TLC and on comes this ad for something called "Toddlers and Tiaras," which appears to be a look behind the scenes at these horror shows. (Wasn't this once the "learning channel?" All I see there now are makeover shows and exploitative reality TV.) Seeing these tiny girls painted up, dressed like pin-ups (at best), and gyrating (literally!) on stage is frankly nauseating. I have a two-year-old daughter and I am just dumbfounded to see that anyone thinks doing that to their children is a good idea. I don't care if that's what the child wants to do. You need to be the parent and say no.

2) All things Barack Obama. At this point, it's as much exposure fatigue as it is the man himself. Last week it was news every hour that they were having a rehearsal for the inauguration. You don't say? All of my colleagues out there who have ever been through any kind of ceremony know that at least one run-through is a given. Are we supposed to believe that the last one was unrehearsed? This is just one instance of the red-carpet mania sweeping the media this month. Now it's behind-the-scenes at inauguration catering. No, I don't care what they're going to eat. It's not news! I hate the red carpet when it's Hollywood; I am frankly embarassed to see in in our politics.

3) Lists that have fewer than three things in them.

Intermezzo

2009-01-16T22:02:00.000-08:00

Not much real substance today. Due to an unfortunate watchbill adjustment, I'm port and starboard (yesterday and tomorrow). C came home and I offered to cook, but she took the idea I had and probably did it better than I would have, since I was hardly firing on all cylinders. Recipe is here.

Personal Notes

2009-01-16T20:00:00.000-08:00

Commenter J120 Bowman offered advice that I should refrain from certain pointedly negative remarks featured in one of my first posts. I have to admit he's right. I don't have quite the anonymity that I had thought I would when I first started. (Though I appreciate the plugs.) F or that reason I have deleted that post. It would be a mistake to post it now, and leaving it up would have the same results.

Thanks also to Bubblehead for his plug. As to the commenter(s) over there who call me whiny, you go right ahead. Like I said in the beginning, this is an exercise almost entirely for my own benefit, and if I feel like venting about something then that's what I'll do. Those who find it interesting are invited to read it. Come to think of it, so are those who don't. Has it occured to you that I see my complaining for what it is and that's why it's vented here rather than out in the real world? Don't think I don't know that other people have it as bad or worse than me, but this is my story. If those others feel like sharing, they're welcome to do so here or on their own pages.

Facebook Flair Fail Watch

2009-01-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

Taking a lead from Bruce at No Looking Backwards, submitted for your approval is Facebook Flair Fail. Can you spot the fail?

Get 'em wet!

2009-01-14T22:15:00.000-08:00

We had the DC trainer today. It was a really good opportunity to practice casualty response under some really challenging circumstances. Even with drills underway we don't get this kind of experience - the flooding always seems to end with the actuation of flood control. Drills in the shipyard aren't even at that level; we do some first-response things but we train to hold off the casualty until the fire department arrives.

Admittedly, the trainer is unrealistic in the other direction - barring some ridiculous cascading failure it's not likely to have multiple unisolable ruptures. That's the challenge, of course. It also provides physical stress to deal with in the form of 68 degree water spraying at about 70 psi. No, it's not Puget Sound in winter cold, but it's cold enough (even when you're up to your armpits in it).

It's times like this that I hate being a leader-type. You can't get your hands on anything and few things feel more absurd than standing there and telling two capable first-class to go patch that hole, you know, the one with water gushing from it. You know, in case you hadn't figured it out on your own. I guess that's not all; there's also the all-important communication with DC Central.

"DC Central, Engine Room. The flooding... continues. It's from... everywhere. Actuate flood control."

Naturally, it's at that point where they tell you flood control failed, thanks for asking.

I just had to be satisfied to remove one of the marline patches after the trainer was over.

Other Things

2009-01-13T22:49:00.000-08:00

I hate to get started on such a negative foot especially for all the referrals from my wife, the indispensable C. I did have one cool thing happen today.

We don't have too many chances to have qual boards here in the shipyard. Our new guys go out to sea on other boats for their experience and often enough they get qualified out there. If they don't their progress can easily become held up in the web of overhaul. As a result I really haven't had the opportunity to chair too many Dolphin boards; before today I had done one and I failed the guy. (It was awful so I don't feel too bad about it. A-Gangers should not come to boards unable to draw the trim system!) Well, today after lunch I got picked up to do a board for an electrician, and it looks like we'll be welcoming him to the brotherhood on Friday if he gets his lookups in.

Off for now. Wet trainer tomorrow! Here's hoping it's not too cold.

Things that Piss Me Off About Watch: Part I

2009-01-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

This will be something of a series that will be continued as I find material. It will mostly be stream-of-consciousness relating to something that happened the last duty day. Here's the first instalment:

I don't stand ship's duty officer that often. After two years I'm at the head of a rotation of engineering duty officers during a refueling. The irony is that by now I almost prefer that watch; the workload is rarely light (except when it's a holiday anyway) but I'm familiar enough with it to be comfortable. But I digress.

When I do stand SDO; it's mostly to single a guy up (I take the watch and he goes home - it happens mostly on weekends of holidays). So the only thing that really has to happen is gun turnovers. You see, armed watchstanders can't turn over their watches without a qualified supervisor to ensure they turnover their weapons properly. The manual devoted to the process borders on the comical - it's been parodied in "Hey, Shipwreck!" just by direct quotation - but I have to admit it's important to do it right. Regardless, you need a supervisor before you can relieve or be relieved, and the midwatch has got to be one of the worst ones to have to wait for.

The logical person to do the midwatch turnover is the SDO. He's had about three hours to sleep (if he wants) since his report to the CO. Plus, he needs to be getting up anyway for his tour. The duty chief could do it, but he's right in the middle of his tour interval - he was up at 2100 and he's got another one at 0300. It really ought to be the duty officer.

So when the below decks comes in to the duty stateroom at 2330 to wake him up you might expect him to get up and do it. You might even expect him to get the message when the next wakeup comes ten minutes later. Perhaps when the third wakeup comes at 2350 and he finally does get up, you might expect him to not argue with the below decks about why he has to do it instead of some other guy in the section.

So, to summarize:
1) We have a guy not doing his job.
2) In the process he's keeping other guys from getting relieved.
3) His delinqincy has also gotten me woken up three times in thirty minutes.

An informal poll with my duty chief the other day indicates to me that this is pretty much normal. I must be doing something wrong when I stand watch.